Matt Ederer – Last Week – 14-1 (~!) – Overall – 75-46-1. Unabashedly reveling in this Miami Dolphin tank season like a young Joel Embiid playing 10 of a possible 82 games.
F-Dawg Johnston – Last Week 12-3 – Overall 69-51-1. – Avid Browns fan?
Byes – Atlanta Falcons, Cincinnati Bengals, Los Angeles Rams, New Orleans Saints
SUNDAY, 9:30am (From England)
Houston Texans (5-3, 6th in AFC) vs Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4, 7th in AFC)
Matt – This could be the best of a long, terrible history of NFL games in Europe. The Texans will inarguably be hurt by the loss of JJ Watt, at this point the lone Texan remaining on defense who needs to be game-planned for. However, the JJ Watt injury has become a yearly occurrence for Houston, so as huge a loss as this is, it’s not something you could describe as shocking. Houston has been here before.
Jacksonville’s defense is far superior to Houston’s at this point, but then, Houston’s QB is in another stratusphere from the Mississippi Meme, Gardner Minshew. Houston wins a thriller, and Nick Foles plays quarterback for the Jags next week.
Matt’s Pick – Houston Texans
Fleet – Spot of tea with your pick? No, didn’t think so.
Fleet’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars
Minnesota Vikings (6-2, 6th in NFC) @ Kansas City Chiefs (4-3, 4th in AFC)
Fleet – No Patrick Mahomes makes Andy Reid a dull boy. How questionable is “questionable” really?
Fleet’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings
Matt – Man, it sucks that we probably won’t get Pat Mahomes in this game. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that KC/Minnesota could be our Superbowl* this year.
*While both of these teams are likely going to the playoffs, it is in fact 1000% out of the realm of possibility that Andy Reid makes a Superbowl vs the Minnesota Vikings.
Matt’s Pick- Minnesota Vikings, under protest
Indianapolis Colts (5-2, 2nd in AFC) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (3-4, 9th in AFC)
Matt – I’m starting to think Mason Rudolph nay not be the answer for Pittsburgh at QB.
Matt’s Pick – Indianapolis Colts
Fleet – This Horse-based Colts team doing it big for all the horse-based teams getting my W pick this week.
Fleet’s Pick – Indianapolis Small Horses
Chicago Bears (3-4, 11th in NFC) @ Philadelphia Eagles (4-4, 10th in NFC)
Fleet – Carson Wentz is the closest thing this generation has to the Eagleman.
Fleet’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles
Matt – Last week seemed like a classic Get Right Game for these Igls. CBs Jalen Mills and Ronald Darby have returned to help shore up a porous secondary, and WR DeSean Jackson is set to return as well, giving Philly a vertical threat that helps them to open up a run game that went for 218 yards last week vs the then-5-1 Buffalo Bills. The Bears might be the most disappointing team in football, and will continue to be such until Mitch Trubisky takes a major step up or is cut.
Matt’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles
Tennessee Titans (4-4, 8th in AFC) @ Carolina Panthers (4-3, 8th in NFC)
Matt – Kyle Allen vs Ryan Tannehill. Can I pick a tie? This one feels like a tie. On the Ryen Russillo show this week, Trent Dilfer compared Kyle Allen to Matt Schaub, in that he is not an A+ level QB, but is a potential 15-year veteran who could back-up a superbowl contender and star on the right team. As someone who watched Ryan Tannehill for years, the man can beat a bad defense. He ain’t much, but I tell ya boy, the dude can look good against a collection of shitheads. Let’s see if he has anything for the Panthers, who are more than a collection of schmuckbags.
Matt’s Pick – Carolina Panthers
Fleet – As previously stated last week, revenge Tannehill is not one to be trifled with.
Fleet’s Pick – Tennessee Titans
New York Jets (1-6, 14th in AFC) @ Miami Dolphins (0-7, 15th in AFC)
Fleet’s Pick – Miami Dolphins
Matt – I don’t think I’ve wanted a win more all season. Yes I know the tank is on, and losing is good, and we are playing for our 2020 draft pick this year, and tank tank tank process Hinkie purple monkey dishwasher.
Here is my counterpoint: Adam Gase is a moron, a dick and a terrible coach. I hope Miami wins this game by 75 points just so Gase has to live with it.
Matt’s Pick – (heart pick, not head pick) Miami Dolphins
Washington (1-7, 16th in NFC) @ Buffalo Bills (5-2, 5th in AFC)
Matt – Gross
Matt’s Pick – Buffalo Bills
Fleet – Like a Bill in a China shop. Things get messy today.
Fleet’s Pick – Buffalo Bills
Detroit Lions (3-3-1, 9th in NFC) @ Oakland Raiders (3-4, 10th in AFC)
Fleet – Giving the future Vegas squad the loss this week. Therefore, the Detroit team has been given the win.
Fleet’s Pick – Detroit Lions
Matt – God help me, I want to watch Lions vs Raiders. Oakland has become a fun team to watch in 2019. They run the classic West Coast short-pass, hyper dink and dunk offense, which is my go-to Madden strategy. It’s fun to watch it play out IRL. For their part, Detroit is ranked as the 5th most efficient passing attack in football, and with RB Kerryon Johnson on IR, Detroit will only be more inclined to pass. Fun game that both teams need. Detroit’s defense will be the (slight) difference here.
Matt’s Pick – Detroit Lions
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-5, 13th in NFC) @ Seattle Seahawks (6-2, 5th in NFC)
Matt – There’s something fishy about this game, but not fishy enough for me to take the 2-5 Bucs over the current league MVP Russ Wilson. Fuck Jameis.
Matt’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks
Fleet – Ex-Browns coach battle alert!
In one corner we have ex-Browns RB coach (2001-2003) and current Buccaneers RB coach Todd “My name is not Quaid” McNair VS (okay I will admit slight cop out on my part here) current Seahawks offensive assistant and former Browns QB Austin “Let’s get this party started right” Davis.
Former QB is going to win this one pals.
Fun fact: Todd McNair worked under Pete Carroll at USC.
Fleet’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks
Green Bay Packers (7-1, 3rd in NFC) @ Los Angeles Chargers (3-5, 11th in AFC)
Matt – One of these teams is 7-1 and rolling with their best defense in years, one of these teams just fired their offensive coordinator.
Matt’s Pick – Green Bay Packers
Fleet – Sorry horse-based team, but you have been disappointing this year. And I am not even an electric horse-based fan. More of a standard-horse man.
Fleet’s Pick – Green Bay Packers
Cleveland Browns (2-5, 12th in AFC) @ Denver Broncos (2-6, 13th in AFC)
Fleet – The Browns still doing Browns things. Somethings never change.
Fleet’s Pick – Cleveland Browns
Matt – A classic battle of who wants it less. While it’s not easy to go into Mile High Stadium and come away with a win, it’s not exactly impossible in 2019. Gardner Memeshew did it. Mitch Trubisky did it. Baker Mayfield is a lot of things, but he is not now and will never be worse than Mitch Trubisky.
Also if Brandon Allen beats this Browns team, I will likely be going to Fleetwood’s funeral next week rather than watching football, so,
Matt’s Pick – Cleveland Browns
New England Patriots (8-0, 1st in AFC) @ Baltimore Ravens (5-2, 3rd in AFC)
Matt – A year or two too early for Lamar. It’s easy to project the down week for the Pats defense, but Lamar has never in his life faced a coach like this, a group of guys like this, or a well-oiled machine like this. There’s nothing in the NCAA that prepares you for Bill Belichick on Sunday night.
Matt’s Pick – New England Patriots
Fleet – Wanted to pick the Ravens to win. But I need them to lose if the Browns have any chance of having a chance at still having a chance at making the playoffs.
Fleet’s Pick – New England Patriots
Dallas Cowboys (4-3, 4th in NFC) @ New York Giants (2-6, 14th in NFC)
Fleet – America’s team getting america-based wins. Not like those pesky Jags getting London-based wins.
Fleet’s Pick – Dallas Cowboys
Matt – Terrible game. If you live in Toronto, go to Outwit, Outlaugh, Outlast: at the Social Capital Theatre instead
Matt’s Pick – Dallas Cowboys