Welcome to everybody’s favourite Canadian NFL picks column, the Fleetwood / Matt picks.
In the interest of full disclosure, we both trusted Jason Garrett and the Cowboys for some reason this Thursday night. Embarrassing for all involved.
SUNDAY, 1:00pm
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets
Matt – Miami has won 3 of their last five, and quite frankly are better coached and appear to want it more. They’ve amassed enough draft assets over the next year that they don’t need the first overall pick, although every team in the league obviously could use the #1. They’re going to be playing to win vs a Jets team without Le’Veon Bell.
Normally I don’t love taking medicore teams to sweep the season series in any case, but Miami might just be better than these Jets. It’s highly likely that my hate-on for Adam Gase is clouding my choice here.
Matt’s Pick – Feesh
Fleet –
Fleet’s Pick – New York Jets
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons
Fleet – Pour one out for Ron.
Fleet’s Pick – Atlanta Falcons
Matt – If the NFL were an Eliminator-style fantasy league, we would be free from the wild inconsistent tyranny of these two teams by now.
Matt’s Pick – Christ IDK. Atlanta Falcons I guess. Don’t put a dime on it, Atlanta is liable to shit themselves any week at any moment.
Baltimore Ravens @ Buffalo Bills
Matt – Don’t love Buffalo to be the ones to stop the Lamar Jackson show, but these Bills have a great defense and should scrap their way to a decent showing.
Matt’s Pick – Baltimore Ravens
Fleet – Although it has nothing to do with today’s game I will just leave this here.
Fleet’s Pick – Baltimore Ravens
Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns
Fleet – I picked the Browns faster than the boy below both juggles and solves the Rubik’s cubes set out before him.
Fleet’s Pick – Cleveland Browns
Matt – Watch Cincy come out and win this one, lol. You couldn’t possibly ever feel confident in the Bengals, but then, you couldn’t possibly feel confident about the Browns either.
Matt’s Pick – Cleveland Browns
Washington @ Green Bay Packers
Matt – People have forgotten how terrible the Washington football team really is.
Matt’s Pick – Green Bay to win and cover
Fleet – Snow game! Snow game! Snow game!… By the way, does anyone know if it’s suppose to snow today in Green Bay, Wisconsin?
Fleet’s Pick – Green Bay Packers
Denver Broncos @ Houston Texans
Fleet – Just when you thought I was back on the horse train, I pick against the Broncos.
Fleet’s Pick – Houston Texans
Matt – NEW SEGMENT AT THE SPORTSFAP PICKS – OUR DREW LOCKE OF THE WEEK
(it’s Houston to win, Houston will win this game)
Matt’s Pick- Houston Texans
Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings
Matt – Kirk does his best work against terrible teams.
Matt’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings
Fleet –
Fleet’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings
San Francisco 49ers @ New Orleans Saints
Fleet – Put that diaper on, it’s the F-Dawg Johnston Huggies brand diapers game of the week!
Fleet’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers
Matt – You lose one game, and people start writing you off. People seem to love the Saints this week because the 9ers are entering their first truly tough stretch of the season, but if you think that they will just roll over and die now?…well sir or madam, I assure you… that I think the opposite thing.
Matt’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers
Indianapolis Colts @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Matt – Gross
Matt’s Pick – Indianapolis Colts
Fleet – Horse-based team with the horse-based win.
Fleet’s Pick – Indianapolis Colts
SUNDAY LATE SLATE
Los Angeles Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars
Fleet – The return of Minshew II, very similar to the return of Arnold in T2. Is he still the villain? Is he now good?
Fleet’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars
*Note: Another pick against a horse-based team :'(
Matt – Gardner Memeshew has climbed the mountain once again. Go get it young Memeshew. Show the world you’re more than just hilarious.
Matt’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Arizona Cardinals
Matt – Hard not to take the Steelers here, but Arizona is going to be a frisky team and a hard out these next few weeks. They’ve got a resurgent David Johnson, a team full of young guys playing for jobs, led by the #1 overall draft pick in last year’s draft. Classic “frisky” archetype.
Matt’s Pick – Pittsburgh Steelers, barely
Fleet – Just anti-Steelers pick here in hopes it gives the Browns a chance…if they still have one…here’s to playing the Bengals twice. Also ehhh giving the Cardinals the win.
Fleet’s Pick – Arizona Cardinals
Kansas City Chiefs @ New England Patriots
Fleet – Going back to the old guard one last time. I’m back on the Pats train. OooWeee.
Fleet’s Pick – New England Patriots
Matt – Mahomes beats Brady, we get force-fed another week of “is this 42 year old quarterback GETTING WORSE AT FOOTBALL?!”
Matt’s Pick – Kansas City Chiefs
Tennessee Titans @ Oakland Raiders
Matt – Just know that for me to pick Ryan Tannehill in a professional football game, I really have to dislike the team he’s opposing.
Matt’s Pick – Tennessee Titans
Fleet – Tannehill will not quit. Like the main character of Raid 2.
Fleet’s Pick – Tennessee Titans
[So stay with me here, you’re going to need you imagination cap/hat/toque/trousers for this scenario. Tannehill is the guy in the car being taken away. The man saving him is Vrabel… Okay so you don’t necessarily need a large imagination.]
SUNDAY NIGHTER
Seattle Seahawks @ Los Angeles Rams
Fleet – I am not buying that Goff’s back. Here is a semi-related article that explains why.
[I member JaMarcus.]
Fleet’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks
Matt – Seattle can clinch a playoff spot with a win today.
Matt’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks clinch a playoff spot with a win today.
MONDAY NIGHTER
New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles
Matt – MONDAY NIGHT MANNING~!!~! How could you pick against Eli?? Quite easily ! Is the answer.
Matt’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles
Fleet –
Fleet’s Pick – New York Giants
