Fleetwood/Matt NFL Picks – Week 14

Fleetwood/Matt NFL Picks – Week 14

Welcome to everybody’s favourite Canadian NFL picks column, the Fleetwood / Matt picks.

In the interest of full disclosure, we both trusted Jason Garrett and the Cowboys for some reason this Thursday night. Embarrassing for all involved.

SUNDAY, 1:00pm

Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets

Matt – Miami has won 3 of their last five, and quite frankly are better coached and appear to want it more. They’ve amassed enough draft assets over the next year that they don’t need the first overall pick, although every team in the league obviously could use the #1. They’re going to be playing to win vs a Jets team without Le’Veon Bell.

Normally I don’t love taking medicore teams to sweep the season series in any case, but Miami might just be better than these Jets. It’s highly likely that my hate-on for Adam Gase is clouding my choice here.

Matt’s Pick – Feesh

Fleet –

Fleet’s Pick – New York Jets


Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons

Fleet – Pour one out for Ron.

Poured

Fleet’s Pick – Atlanta Falcons

Matt – If the NFL were an Eliminator-style fantasy league, we would be free from the wild inconsistent tyranny of these two teams by now.

Matt’s Pick – Christ IDK. Atlanta Falcons I guess. Don’t put a dime on it, Atlanta is liable to shit themselves any week at any moment.


Baltimore Ravens @ Buffalo Bills

Matt – Don’t love Buffalo to be the ones to stop the Lamar Jackson show, but these Bills have a great defense and should scrap their way to a decent showing.

Matt’s Pick – Baltimore Ravens

Fleet – Although it has nothing to do with today’s game I will just leave this here.

Old highlights are fun!

Fleet’s Pick – Baltimore Ravens


Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns

Fleet – I picked the Browns faster than the boy below both juggles and solves the Rubik’s cubes set out before him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6Qbwz0Uik8
So like faster than 5min 20seconds.

Fleet’s Pick – Cleveland Browns

Matt – Watch Cincy come out and win this one, lol. You couldn’t possibly ever feel confident in the Bengals, but then, you couldn’t possibly feel confident about the Browns either.

Matt’s Pick – Cleveland Browns


Washington @ Green Bay Packers

Matt – People have forgotten how terrible the Washington football team really is.

Matt’s Pick – Green Bay to win and cover

Fleet – Snow game! Snow game! Snow game!… By the way, does anyone know if it’s suppose to snow today in Green Bay, Wisconsin?

I often think of the Green Bay Packers when I see this.

Fleet’s Pick – Green Bay Packers


Denver Broncos @ Houston Texans

Fleet – Just when you thought I was back on the horse train, I pick against the Broncos.

Fleet’s Pick – Houston Texans

Matt – NEW SEGMENT AT THE SPORTSFAP PICKS – OUR DREW LOCKE OF THE WEEK

(it’s Houston to win, Houston will win this game)

Matt’s Pick- Houston Texans


Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings

Matt – Kirk does his best work against terrible teams.

Matt’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings

Fleet –

Fleet’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings


San Francisco 49ers @ New Orleans Saints

Fleet – Put that diaper on, it’s the F-Dawg Johnston Huggies brand diapers game of the week!

Fleet’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers

Matt – You lose one game, and people start writing you off. People seem to love the Saints this week because the 9ers are entering their first truly tough stretch of the season, but if you think that they will just roll over and die now?…well sir or madam, I assure you… that I think the opposite thing.

Matt’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers


Indianapolis Colts @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Matt – Gross

Matt’s Pick – Indianapolis Colts

Fleet – Horse-based team with the horse-based win.

Yes, more of this dumb horse-based team joke that I’ve kept going all year long.

Fleet’s Pick – Indianapolis Colts


SUNDAY LATE SLATE

Los Angeles Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Fleet – The return of Minshew II, very similar to the return of Arnold in T2. Is he still the villain? Is he now good?

He’s good now! Not evil! Phew.

Fleet’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars

*Note: Another pick against a horse-based team :'(

Matt – Gardner Memeshew has climbed the mountain once again. Go get it young Memeshew. Show the world you’re more than just hilarious.

Matt’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars


Pittsburgh Steelers @ Arizona Cardinals

Matt – Hard not to take the Steelers here, but Arizona is going to be a frisky team and a hard out these next few weeks. They’ve got a resurgent David Johnson, a team full of young guys playing for jobs, led by the #1 overall draft pick in last year’s draft. Classic “frisky” archetype.

Matt’s Pick – Pittsburgh Steelers, barely

Fleet – Just anti-Steelers pick here in hopes it gives the Browns a chance…if they still have one…here’s to playing the Bengals twice. Also ehhh giving the Cardinals the win.

Fleet’s Pick – Arizona Cardinals


Kansas City Chiefs @ New England Patriots

Fleet – Going back to the old guard one last time. I’m back on the Pats train. OooWeee.

Fleet’s Pick – New England Patriots

Matt – Mahomes beats Brady, we get force-fed another week of “is this 42 year old quarterback GETTING WORSE AT FOOTBALL?!”

Matt’s Pick – Kansas City Chiefs


Tennessee Titans @ Oakland Raiders

Matt – Just know that for me to pick Ryan Tannehill in a professional football game, I really have to dislike the team he’s opposing.

Matt’s Pick – Tennessee Titans

Fleet – Tannehill will not quit. Like the main character of Raid 2.

Fleet’s Pick – Tennessee Titans

[So stay with me here, you’re going to need you imagination cap/hat/toque/trousers for this scenario. Tannehill is the guy in the car being taken away. The man saving him is Vrabel… Okay so you don’t necessarily need a large imagination.]


SUNDAY NIGHTER

Seattle Seahawks @ Los Angeles Rams

Fleet – I am not buying that Goff’s back. Here is a semi-related article that explains why.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000656168/article/jamarcus-russell-clinging-to-nfl-comeback-dream

[I member JaMarcus.]

Fleet’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks

Matt – Seattle can clinch a playoff spot with a win today.

Matt’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks clinch a playoff spot with a win today.


MONDAY NIGHTER

New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles

Matt – MONDAY NIGHT MANNING~!!~! How could you pick against Eli?? Quite easily ! Is the answer.

Matt’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles

Fleet –

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks 2013 Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Carl.

Fleet’s Pick – New York Giants


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